


The Greatest Warriors

by yamabuki_kana (cygnisor)



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Drabble, M/M, Mythology References, idk man i think they can fuck each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cygnisor/pseuds/yamabuki_kana
Summary: “Never have I ever been disguised as a woman for a part of my life."“Fuck.”“What can I say? History doesn’t hide anything about us heroes.”(In which "Never Have I Ever" and drinking bad beer bring Achilles and Cú closer during their times in Chaldea.)
Relationships: Achilles | Rider of Red/Cú Chulainn | Lancer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	The Greatest Warriors

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt (supposedly for Drabbletober 2018): making fun of each other
> 
> jazz hands inspired from the section where cú is said to be as famous in ireland as achilles is in greece. they got many similar aspects in their myths as well so SHRUGS

“Never have I ever,” Cú Chulainn begins, sleazily grinning. His tone is purposefully drawn out as to extend tension. When one looks, one can see how his eyes glint under the light, red as though gems.

Then: “... been disguised as a woman for a part of my life,” he finishes.

“Fuck,” Achilles breathes out, to Cú’s loud cackling. He takes a swig from the beer can under Cú gleeful gaze.

“That’s a dirty one, brother,” Achilles says when he is finished, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“What can I say? History doesn’t hide anything about us heroes.” Cú leans back, his body lax. “Reminded of bad memories?”

“Of being a woman? Nah, I was radiant in that dress.” Deidamea, however, comes to mind, and it sours a bit of Achilles’ good mood. “Bad memories of someone, though? That I have.”

“Ooh. Bad lover?”

Achilles sighs. “Got married to her just because I wanted to be free. She was pretty, but...,” this time, he remembers Patroclus. And suddenly his chest is hollow, his heart bruising from his memories. “I had someone else in mind.”

Achilles takes another chug of his beer, despite unprompted, and Cú laughs at his action.

“You ain’t supposed to drink yet—ah well, whatever. Followin’ yer lead, then,” he laughs again, taking a swig from his own can. “Ah, damn. This stuff’s real shit.”

Achilles shrugs. “Nothing better than drinking those stuffs with friends, though.”

Cú Chulainn’s red eyes glint. “Oh, so we’re both just friends?” He teases, prompting Achilles’ laugh. “Oof, thought we had something special, Achi. Ah, by the way: your turn, bud.”

“Sorry, got carried away.” Achilles racks his mind for something, anything from Cú life story. Remembering Deidamea brings him an idea, and for the first time ever he is thankful for her. “Ah, got one.”

“Never have I ever...,” Achilles says, intently holding Cú’s gaze. “Been killed by a woman.”

This time, Cú grimaces.

“Dammit,” he swears, and Achilles gleefully grins. “Just so ya know, bud, Medb is a vicious woman. She’s tenacious. She’d stop at nothing to get me.”

“She’d be great friends with Deidamea, then,” Achilles surmises, watching as Cú takes a swig as per the game’s rules.

“Maybe,” Cú answers as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Dunno, Medb doesn’t have friends. ‘Kay, so... never have I ever... been hung upside down, burned by my own mother, over a pyre.”

Achilles bursts. “It was that one time—”

Cú stares at him, an eyebrow raised. “Oh?”

“Okay, alright,” Achilles amends himself. “It was so many times that I’d lost count. But still, she meant well!”

“Man, you’re messed up. If I were burned at a pyre by my god dad, I’d...,” Cú trails off, unfocused. “Huh. Dunno. He’d never been really around that much in my life.”

“Heh, godly parents.” Achilles shakes his head. “No matter in which country, they’d always be neglectful.”

“Ooh, damn right. And deadbeat.”

“And a pain in the ass!” Achilles adds, locking his gaze with Cú, only finding agreement there. They nod together in the spirit of camaraderie, and takes a chug of their respective beer again.

Alcoholic beverages don’t really affect Heroic Spirits, but the good atmosphere and the easy-going attitude Cú Chulainn has, they bring Achilles memories. It’s easy to fall one step beside him, easy to like Cú Chulainn, with his sharp grin and drawling voice and fighting prowess. He’s nothing like Patroclus at all, this hero, but Achilles can’t help but remember anyway.

“Hey,” Cú calls out, nudging him on the leg with his toe. “Your turn.”

“Right,” Achilles says. He has to think a bit on what to challenge. “Never have I ever... had to look for a wife, just because all other men got scared I could steal their wives.”

Cú chuckles at that, raising his beer can in acceptance. “Can’t help it. Being this good-lookin’ comes with a price.” Achilles laughs as Cú takes a swig of his beer with ease. When he is finished, he says, “Though, I’m more surprised about you.”

Achilles blinks at that. He stares at Cú in surprise. “What?”

Cú jerks his head at Achilles. “Y’know, yer good-lookin’ yourself.” His eyes, red as though fire ablaze, rakes at him up to down with lazy interest. He finally settles to return back Achilles’ gaze. This time, his voice sounds different when he speaks. “Kinda hard to believe that no one’s ever tried to get into your pants, really.”

Achilles stares back.

In this light, slouched against the bed, legs lounging with careless grace, it’s easy to find Cú Chulainn beautiful too. His hair, spiked back, reveals the shape of his face, making it more prominent under Chaldea’s harsh white light. He can easily imagine how it would feel to hold him, feel the way Cú’s muscles work on his back with both of his hands.

It’s a tempting thought.

“Oh, many tried,” Achilles replies, slow and with intent. When he leans on the side of the bed, he can see how Cú’s eyes follow his movements. “But there was the war back then. The greatest war, fought by the best of our kinds.”

“ _Aristos Achaion_ ,” Cú says slowly, drawling out his voice. Best of Greeks. “That’s what they called you back then.”

Achilles laughs. “Good ol’ times,” he agrees. “Not for the romancing, though.”

“I had that one too,” Cú mulls, head tilted as he reminisces. “The greatest war. Though I had to fight Connacht’s army all by myself. What a life.”

They both take another swig of their beers again.

“But,” Cú says suddenly, looking at Achilles. “Time’s different from back then.”

Achilles feels a smirk form on his lips. “Indeed,” he says, also tilting his head. “I think I could afford a romance or two, this time.”

And Cú Chulainn grins, feral and wild, free as though the wind.


End file.
